dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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