i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
