You just made me feel so damn special
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
FUCK WHALES
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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