talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
