I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
did you just send me my own nude
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
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