i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
