There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
