Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
