I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
