Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
then he tried to convert me to islam
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
