Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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