i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
