I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
These tits shall not be calmed
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
