Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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