At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
