i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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