So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
