Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
