i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
