Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Houston, we have a blender
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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