she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
