You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
