I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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