if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
