i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
