i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
