There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
