Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
