Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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