I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
