It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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