I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
