Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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