Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize