I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
