Umm I'm too high to move.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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