remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
