rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
