every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
