No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I had to cum in my sink.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
