I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
