I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
