shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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