Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
