'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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