I'm really into asian looking animals
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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