I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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