About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
