There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
