so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
