ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
