you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
