I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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