the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
