just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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